Archive for the ‘no music’ Category

a week without music

This week for me there were few singing voices. When it happens, and for some reason I remain without singing my brain starts going somewhere without asking me if it is ok.
I watched again the movie that gave birth to my journey in sardinia. The wild blue Yonder by Mr. Werner Herzog.
I heard again to the voice of piero and again I felt like I am the only in my personal planet.

I saw this website called fastmeets or something like that. Each time I get close or even near a relationship… close enough to remember the concrete details from my past experiences, I feel better in my solitude and I think that I could live this way for another century.

Creativity must always deal with lack of experience. At the end of the movie it’s late but I must save something from this moment, and they are ready to take me with them: the Residents with their imaginary eskimo tale. I’m still hungry, I stopped smoking and now I understand better each time I’ve the need for a cigarette. But I can’t stop eating to see how my thoughts look like. Or I could stop, again. What will remain in my life? Just music and work, and virtual suicidal friends from all around the world.

When I was in my first eighteen I was looking to my future with fear. I lost soon every inspirational example of living, and only the bad examples that I would never look alike were some kind of fix spot to build my next decisions on. Now, as a new force grows in me I feel slow and rocky weight. I feel that I must learn something important about my way of life, and at the same time I just want to stay alone, far from home and far from everybody.

A thin slice of ice and snow is now between me and my family. People that I knew for years are now just cold and far voices. I wonder if they will be strong enough to support me in this last journey.


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